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Imagine two people joining gym on the same day with the same goal of losing weight.

Do you think both would get the same results because their goals are the same?

What would happen?

You might already know the answer.

After a few days, one person stops going to gym because the pleasure of sleeping is more pulling than the pain of working out, whereas the other person commits to going regularly come what may and three months later has lost 10 kg and achieved his goal.

Let’s look at the same scenario from a scientific aspect.

More than 40 years ago, Walter Mischel, PhD, a psychologist now at Columbia University, explored self-control in children with a simple but effective test. His experiments using the “marshmallow test,” as it came to be known, laid the groundwork for the modern study of self-control.

Mischel and his colleagues presented a preschooler with a plate of treats such as marshmallows. The child was then told that the researcher had to leave the room for a few minutes, but not before giving the child a simple choice.

If the child waited until the researcher returned, she could have two marshmallows. If the child simply couldn’t wait, she could ring a bell and the researcher would come back immediately, but she would only be allowed one marshmallow.

After the initial study, these children were tracked for 40 years and it was interesting to note that those children who delayed their gratification and resisted the temptation to eat the marshmallow right away and waited to have two marshmallows did very well academically, financially, as well as they enjoyed great relationships. They were able to keep their commitments, they were respected highly in the society, and they were happy, healthy, and successful.

In children, as well as adults, willpower can be thought of as a basic ability to delay gratification.

What is delayed gratification?

Delayed gratification simply means resisting short-term temptation in order to get long-term benefits.

Here are some examples of delayed gratification:

• If you delay the gratification of watching television and reading a book related your profession you will be an expert in your profession
• If you delay the gratification of buying desserts and chips at the store, then you’ll eat healthier when you get home.
• If you delay the gratification of finishing your workout early and put in a few more reps, then you’ll be stronger.

...and the list goes on.

Success usually comes down to choosing the pain of discipline over the ease of distraction. And that’s exactly what delayed gratification is all about.

This brings us to an interesting question.

Are some born with more self-control and thus were destined for success or can we learn to develop this important trait?

Fortunately, delayed gratification is a skill that can be learnt.

Let me give you three simple steps to develop the skill of delayed gratification. When you feel like giving into a pleasure even though you know that it wouldn’t serve your goal, follow these three steps:

1. Take 5 deep breaths
2. Think of your goal
3. Question yourself, “Will this help me achieve my goal?”

For example, when you see high sugared dessert and you feel like eating it, but you know that your goal is to lose weight 3 kg at the end of this month, follow the three steps to develop delayed gratification.

Step 1: Take five nice deep breaths.

When you take deep breaths your mind calms down and the thought of eating the dessert might vanish away.

Step 2: Think of your goal.

In this case, you goal is “I want to reduce 3 kg by the end of this month.”

When you remind yourself of your goal you get the power to take right actions towards your goal.

Step 3: Question yourself, “Will this help me achieve my goal?”

Mostly the answer will be No. Psychology says that when you say no to anything mostly you will not do that.

Develop your delayed gratification muscle one temptation at a time.